


I am Not Loyal

by bobbirose



Category: Twelfth Night - Shakespeare
Genre: Free Verse, M/M, Poetry, Re-imagining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 01:50:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1801027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbirose/pseuds/bobbirose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A free-verse poem that explores Antonio's love for Sebastian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am Not Loyal

I am not loyal. I have never been loyal

so when people mistake my love for you for loyalty it is the worst compliment possible.

I do not love you because I was in your employment

and when my love is mistaken for the dutiful, blind love of the servant it is the worst compliment possible.

You see, Sebastian, we rescued you from the depths of the tossing ocean and you looked beautiful even an inch from death as salt water tried to moisturize your lungs

and I loved you

 

I am not loyal. I have never been loyal

and when I heard you were destined for Illyria my heart stopped but I said nothing because my heart had only just begun beating.

I stepped on the beaches of Orsino and I knew in my heart there was a small chance in Hell that I'd ever return home

but it didn't matter because from the moment I saw you I had already returned.

 

I am not loyal. I have never been loyal

so please never think that when I said I loved you that it was out of obligation

Always know that you are all I can think for, can breathe for

and I hope that is a sufficient explanation as to why I threw myself in front of you and sacrificed my freedom

I thought you were gone

And my absence is much preferred

I think you'd agree.

 

Remember me and remember the worn velvet of my purse

that I had given you in case there was anything you desired.

Did you know, did you guess that it had been the only thing I owned?

I'm a sailor, Sebastian, I have nothing

Nothing except for you

And suddenly my needs paled in comparison to yours.

 

I am not loyal, I have never been loyal

Neither have you, you who married she who has shown you nothing but beauty

I can be beautiful

If you let me

 

I am not loyal,

but I love you

because you make me loyal

and you make me

everything I am,

Antonio.


End file.
